I love those time when i can have breakfast with my loves one, every morning. Maybe, thats one of a way to show out my love to them. But.. do they know? Felt some kinda rejected in my family, and it s all because of my character, my selfishness, my stubbornness, to make them love me
lesser.
I asked myself. Does God loves his children this way too? Love more to those who are more obedient. Maybe i should check on myself, wad i did to make everyone i love try to keep a distance with me? I said im a christian, but im not. Seriously i din see myself having any improvement, even my families said that so.
I dint bring anything back home although i go to church every sunday. Im not even leading a Christian life. So what am I living my life such way. I seemed like enjoying how the world going, i failed to control the temptations in this world. Such a failure. Lived in this planet for 17 years, gained only knowledge, nothing else. A bit of growth mostly. I wished, wished to be someone else, wish to be someone great. But i seemed like limiting my effort. My laziness stroke myself like im useless. God arranged me to go for PLKN but in my heart im objecting myself frm ggn thr, although i knw there will be many consequences. THIS IS A MUST. THERE S NO SUCH THINGS AS NO OR YOU DONT WANT TO.
Stop being so stubborn Yingying. It s time for you to live like a human. The way you should live your life.
Outside im wearing clothes, covering all my dirts, which stinks so much. The ugliness in me.
