我知道没有钱的道理
知道他一定会解决这一些事情
我相信, 他能够给我一个最sweet的19岁.
我不应该要求太多吧?
毕竟...那是一份礼物
收到,或没收到
我本来就不应该太在意
毕竟如果不是我的, 就不是我的.
恩.. 我应该相信他的.
♥ LOVE ♥
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Still.
Blogging mode.
Got all of my coursework mark back and everything end up below my expectations. Do you guys know the feeling of expecting so high and everything you got back is just a lump of rubbish which is so much below what you expected? Like you climbed so high and you suddenly fell down, seriously it was so pain and i forgot how to describe.
I cried, lose temper, complaint, but... everything seemed so useless. What can i gain back after wasting all of these time? And seriously, it was also an opportunity to open my eyes and let me see, im not the only one who was standing on top. There are more and more people climbing upwards, and saw that i actually fell so hard. Never expect them to get so good results though, although i still don't think that way. Well, people have different thoughts, and the one who gave mark is not a robot. Same people but i guess there will be inconsistent also? I don't agree myself that i could be so bad, i kept thinking how if other people think about my performance? I will keep improve, I promise, because im not alone. My Lord will be the sterling of my life, to guide me in every path of my journey. I still remember the song that he gave me during the day i hid and bury myself in tears.
When the ocean rise and thunder roars
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
And i will be still know you are God.
I give back this song to all of you guys that read my post, who are down. Do listen to this song, which brought me back from everything which is unfair. God is faithful and everything is possible with Him. And, there are still a lot i need to learn, to be still in Him.
Got all of my coursework mark back and everything end up below my expectations. Do you guys know the feeling of expecting so high and everything you got back is just a lump of rubbish which is so much below what you expected? Like you climbed so high and you suddenly fell down, seriously it was so pain and i forgot how to describe.
I cried, lose temper, complaint, but... everything seemed so useless. What can i gain back after wasting all of these time? And seriously, it was also an opportunity to open my eyes and let me see, im not the only one who was standing on top. There are more and more people climbing upwards, and saw that i actually fell so hard. Never expect them to get so good results though, although i still don't think that way. Well, people have different thoughts, and the one who gave mark is not a robot. Same people but i guess there will be inconsistent also? I don't agree myself that i could be so bad, i kept thinking how if other people think about my performance? I will keep improve, I promise, because im not alone. My Lord will be the sterling of my life, to guide me in every path of my journey. I still remember the song that he gave me during the day i hid and bury myself in tears.
When the ocean rise and thunder roars
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
And i will be still know you are God.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Love
While most of my friends stopped blogging, im all alone here. Haha. My 3rd sem is goin to end soon. Wow... im the earliest one who stepped into degree world. How would it be?
My dearest told me that...... nope he asked me whether can i marry him after my degree? Seriously i thought that i dont want to be married so soon. What would days be like to be a wife? Stick to him all day long just as i dreamt? I can only say that i miss him soooo much. I really do. Times when we quarreled really made me feel very bad. Like days are going to end soon. But at last i still know that he wont leave me no matter what.
Since i dont know who would be my blog reader, i guess i can just write what i feel? Haha. No need to hide like the past.. scaring people would know my secrets.. well, im opening this blog to public means that this is going to be seen by anyone? Haha. I know that my friends are still single.. and seriously i do not know what to tell them, or how to tell them the relationship problems that i faced. Im afraid if i speak out they will think that im showing off my happiness. Actually.... all i want is my happiness to be shared to you guys. I sincerely hope that everyone can find their true love, and my heart breaks when i know that they are hurt again because of love.
Lord.. I thank you so much for bringing him into my life. The one who love me so much.. and his willingness to sacrifice for me. I know, since i was 14, you heard my prayers, you saw my tears, and you know how much i hurt.
Seriously, life in UTAR is not as fun as i thought. The happiest time is when im staying with her, a friend who treated me wholeheartedly, a friend who love me as i am. I hate those times when my scars are rebuked by someone, without knowing she knows that is my scar or not. Im really unhappy when those time you stepped me under your feet like im just nothing, you ruined my confidence, taking everything as your pleasure. I know im imperfect, I know im not that pretty, but im confident for who am I. Being one of your friend, do i not worth for your care? All you know is using me like a tool, counting which benefits you..... Im really sick of it.
When i reached home, my expression eventually changed, and i told myself "My mask is finally taken off".
Tired of bringing a mask in front of everyone else. I just want to be myself.
My dearest told me that...... nope he asked me whether can i marry him after my degree? Seriously i thought that i dont want to be married so soon. What would days be like to be a wife? Stick to him all day long just as i dreamt? I can only say that i miss him soooo much. I really do. Times when we quarreled really made me feel very bad. Like days are going to end soon. But at last i still know that he wont leave me no matter what.
Since i dont know who would be my blog reader, i guess i can just write what i feel? Haha. No need to hide like the past.. scaring people would know my secrets.. well, im opening this blog to public means that this is going to be seen by anyone? Haha. I know that my friends are still single.. and seriously i do not know what to tell them, or how to tell them the relationship problems that i faced. Im afraid if i speak out they will think that im showing off my happiness. Actually.... all i want is my happiness to be shared to you guys. I sincerely hope that everyone can find their true love, and my heart breaks when i know that they are hurt again because of love.
Lord.. I thank you so much for bringing him into my life. The one who love me so much.. and his willingness to sacrifice for me. I know, since i was 14, you heard my prayers, you saw my tears, and you know how much i hurt.
Seriously, life in UTAR is not as fun as i thought. The happiest time is when im staying with her, a friend who treated me wholeheartedly, a friend who love me as i am. I hate those times when my scars are rebuked by someone, without knowing she knows that is my scar or not. Im really unhappy when those time you stepped me under your feet like im just nothing, you ruined my confidence, taking everything as your pleasure. I know im imperfect, I know im not that pretty, but im confident for who am I. Being one of your friend, do i not worth for your care? All you know is using me like a tool, counting which benefits you..... Im really sick of it.
When i reached home, my expression eventually changed, and i told myself "My mask is finally taken off".
Tired of bringing a mask in front of everyone else. I just want to be myself.
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