Lord i give you my heart, i live for You alone.

Once i heard about 'the memory palace', and i've tried to learn it but failed. Each time when i need to memorize or study i really needed it so much. Facing business law, my toughest subject, i feel like banging onto the wall, couldnt control my hands frm touching my phone. The name, the cases was too much, too heavy for me.


I always hoped to do the best, i wanted to be the best. Altho i keep saying passing this subject is all i need, but in my deep heart i actually want to score well. I could feel better if this subject was took on the first day of my finals.
I keep grumble that i really cnt do well, until yesterday when i was reading Joseph Prince devotional passage, the title was like..God is speaking to me. He said it was His battle but not mine, all i need to do is to stand and see his glory. I know that, this is our battle. What I need to do now is to try my best, do all i can, in the power of God, and the rest i can just surrender to Him and say that, God i've tried my best, and for the rest i surrender to You. Have faith in the Lord, and he will be more faithful to you.


Jiayou yingying. Im sure you can do it. Stop grumbling stop complaining and start acting. Sorry, it was memorizing T_T

The last paper of my first sem degree life.

I ll be going back soon, the day after tomorrow. God knows how much i want to go home.. feel like degree life is terrible and i really need to recharge myself. And the best thing i can think off is mum's dishes, daddy's breakfast and time spending wif wugui after a month♥ It was so precious, and it eventually became my strength to move on. All the way of having my finals, i keep praying to God to give me strengh and i want to fall on You, to surrender everything onto Your mighty hands. The greatest thing of having You in my life is no matter what happens, i know that im not alone.

Past few days, when i was still preparing for my microeconomics paper, i felt like it was still so far for me to go home.. but it seemed like getting nearer, but im afraid of my business law and therefore i wish i could still have some time longer, but i wanna go home.. this kinda mixed feelings makes me feel kinda.... blurry.

I miss him so much. Want to have big hugs and to feel the warmth of his big tummies. I miss you lots baobei... miss u a lot. I want to take many pictures of us together, to keep all the memories so that i feel calm again wif our relationship. To feel that... u actually love me, a lot.


Im a person who lose secure easily, no matter in love, family, or friendship. I always felt insecure.. afraid that you guys would just abandon me like this. I treasure a lot, cherish so much of this kinda relationship we owned, and i really need to understand that.... 好朋友只是朋友，还是朋友，不能够占有。
I dont want to be old shirt neither new shirt, to be abandoned because it was outdated, and to be love because of the feeling of new and freshness. And..... i just dont like the feeling of being a tool. Or should i said that, if i choose to help, i shouldnt grumble?


Last paper of first sem degree. And i know that i still have a long way to go.

Blue day.

拜四.
你狠不给脸的骂了我,说我在你做工的时候一直信息你
其实我没奢望你会去看,我只想发泄思念...很厚脸皮的send了照片,声音说想你..
结果被你狠狠的训
当时我真的很不想很不想很不想理你了...
我真的很白痴连这点都做不到
要是我有琁的一半就好了.
心都碎了.你难道不知道...我很想你回来陪陪我吗
你真的不知道吗.
Just stop thinking too much. I'll be having qt 1 exam this saturday. I got a blog, and i gave it to you. I got twitter, and you have it too. It's just you never care what am i using. Im avoiding you, but i hope that you'll find me thats all. But you never. Nites. Bye.

Valentines. My valentine.

情人节快乐.
在一起两年都没一起过情人节吧~哈哈哈哈
不知道情侣过情人节是怎样的, 但我相信只要有你在,有我在, 都是情人节吧.
我只希望我们可以相爱到永远
真正的幸福不上给人家看, 而是自己感觉到那份爱那份温暖.
真的好希望身边的朋友们都会找到属于他们的幸福.

拥有了爱情, 却连真正的友情都不知道是什么味道.
一心以为sem3的他是个对我真心的朋友
到最后他只是一个爱计较,一个连真心都不肯付出的人
从开始到现在
在我身边的好朋友也只有她吧.最疼我的她...
会不会有一天连她也遗弃我了.
或许拥有爱情的女人不配拥有真正的友谊吧.
感觉到你们的友谊,你们在一起时的那份幸福,我多么渴望自己能够加入.
但我太迟了吧.
真正的我几乎没有人能够接受
我只能改变自己来迁就别人.
或许改变是好的, 我应该这样做吧.
虽然乌龟告诉我的不好, 但我听着他说我的不好感觉好难受
会不会有一天连你也不要我了.
会不会有一天你觉得我其实没那么好...事实上我不觉得自己很好
ahb有一班八个女生的好姐妹
跟每一个都那么的好
我的中学生涯也只有一个好朋友
失去联络,也已经没话题的好朋友.
与其说是情人节
我更希望是跟一大班好姐妹一起过
无所不谈一起笑一起疯一起闹
就想小时代里的姐妹淘
不管什么身份地位
都能够一直一直的在一起
曾经瞳景过
不过那是从来没有过的一个梦.

晚安咯. 今天是来打扫自己的部落格.
对呀.
既然没什么人看部落格了
为什么不把它当做是一种心里的话.

Finally, my foundation is over :)

Feel likes blogging, but i guess i have nothing much to talk about. All the days when i was preparing for my exam i think of the scenery when he brings me to buy note 2, and we spent time taking pics together blah blah blah. But things doesnt go as well as we planned. Yeah, both of us bought a new hp but... i found that all i want is him to be with me. Thats all. And now, im all alone with a new handphone without new pictures of me and him. Today and tomorrow suppposed to be the day he coming back but.....

I miss you. Damn much.

Worrying for my sem3 results. But all i can do now is to surrender everything to God. Be obedience, have faith, fear the Lord. And in him, all the impossibles are possible, because he created miracles.


Toodles, gotta sleep. Happy holidays and have much fun with your break. Although my break is not that good haha.

我爱他.

我知道没有钱的道理
知道他一定会解决这一些事情
我相信, 他能够给我一个最sweet的19岁.
我不应该要求太多吧?
毕竟...那是一份礼物
收到,或没收到
我本来就不应该太在意
毕竟如果不是我的, 就不是我的.
恩.. 我应该相信他的.

Still.

Blogging mode.


Got all of my coursework mark back and everything end up below my expectations. Do you guys know the feeling of expecting so high and everything you got back is just a lump of rubbish which is so much below what you expected? Like you climbed so high and you suddenly fell down, seriously it was so pain and i forgot how to describe.

I cried, lose temper, complaint, but... everything seemed so useless. What can i gain back after wasting all of these time? And seriously, it was also an opportunity to open my eyes and let me see, im not the only one who was standing on top. There are more and more people climbing upwards, and saw that i actually fell so hard. Never expect them to get so good results though, although i still don't think that way. Well, people have different thoughts, and the one who gave mark is not a robot. Same people but i guess there will be inconsistent also? I don't agree myself that i could be so bad, i kept thinking how if other people think about my performance? I will keep improve, I promise, because im not alone. My Lord will be the sterling of my life, to guide me in every path of my journey. I still remember the song that he gave me during the day i hid and bury myself in tears.



When the ocean rise and thunder roars
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
And i will be still know you are God.

I give back this song to all of you guys that read my post, who are down. Do listen to this song, which brought me back from everything which is unfair. God is faithful and everything is possible with Him. And, there are still a lot i need to learn, to be still in Him.