Somehow i felt that im rejected.
School.Its my 2nd place which i spend half of my day except home.I really love to school last time.I felt that,school is reali a wonderful place for me to play,chit-chat wif friends and all.But u know wat?Since last year.I felt that school is reali sucks.At school,precisely.Obviously.I have greatest friend ever who alwaz stands beside me.But there are also others who dun like me.Nowdays,people who dun like me had increased.BLA BLA BLA they started with my hair,my style,n alwaz de same! Im juz wondered y they need to be like this? Whats on my mind is--> hair grows on my hair so wat do u care? But,they're juz caring.IM SO FRUST AT THAT TIME BUT SOMEONE TOLD ME 'For wat u care bout them?'
Mostly,i felt im rejected bt the "Form 3 group" GROUP means they're same style,same fashion,same hairstyle,same,same,SAME! N im reali reali sorry to say that,I wont be a kutu papan who always the SAME. YA seriously i know that most of those people wont accept this,they even hate me like XXX,YYY,ZZZ or AAA(indices)
Day by day...Time by time...I thought that i've forgotten what's feeling...what's happiness...what's relationship...what's acceptance...alot of things in this world.Because i seriously feel sumkinda,rejected?YES
♥ LOVE ♥
Monday, April 26, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
F.R.I.E.N.D
Today i got awoke by my mum.
She said:"Can u just dun b so naive??WAKE UP DEAR! This world is not as easy-going as u thought.Its not that u treat someone with true heart,u will get repay back.No ITS NOT! Maybe u really treat her as your friend but how she will think?U dunno...Dun determine someone's character with your first aspire.How u noe thr's a lie behind it??Think yourself daughter..."
So,i was thinking on my bed this morning.*actually i went to school but i went back home again cause u felt like vomit n head spinning in sudden.I FELT LIKE THE CAR WAS REVERSING!!!* AM I??!! AM I???!! ITS THAT THE REASON THAT I WAS FOOLED BY DEAD FISH???!!! I found that im getting more n more stupid.WHY?WHY?WHY?<--im asking myself.If I'd listen to my mum,talk less everything will be better,I think so the ending won't just end up wif a question mark-->?<--
Actually,guys u might not know something...That "my prob" din end like this way...There r still many ? in my head,my heart.I wanna noe,of course i do! But..u noe wat?While i was getting nearer to the answer,when i knew it,i really dun feel like knowing it anymore.I HATE IT!Actually its de feeling i hate :P Once,when i was form 2,i was so curious about a stupid question.ITS JUST A STUPID QUESTION MADE A CHANGE IN MY WORLD. People will just think "Ying Ying,its juz a small tiny lil question.Dun care it so much.Nothing."
N that,i'll think "Shut up..U dun know anything u cant feel me so juz save your saliva n keep quiet"
I know its rediculous to say that but..this is how i think to those who told me this.Seriously until now,i regretted to those who waste so much saliva for me to tell me "Ying Ying,u will regret wat u did.Y r u so silly??"<--HAHA I KNOW SHE WILL KNOW THAT IS .....hehehe~This girl is one of my best friend who told me not to,but...i had a conflict with her after that..Altho she said that she had forgiven me,but yet,i haven forgive myself.
YES.We need friends in our life.But friends.....i've only got a word to describe->speechless.The one who in my bff list,of course i believe them 100%,but those...who r using a smile or waving HI to me..I juz gt a feeling that they are realli fake.Dunno y,seriously.And what i predict its true.They will talk something or critic u behind.Maybe these person is surrounding around u which u said is "friend" or someone that u like.But for me,"urghh...normal is the best.No communication is even better."Feel weird sometimes.From young i can predict that someone is good,or fake.But there's only one,ONLY ONE,that i cant feel it.Which is the fakest big liar.She is really really fake.If there are some of people or "guest" here wanna learn how to be more fake until others wont notice,please visit-->STK,Form 2 dead fish :) Its not that i wan to critic her here but seriously,im juz saying facts. :)
She said:"Can u just dun b so naive??WAKE UP DEAR! This world is not as easy-going as u thought.Its not that u treat someone with true heart,u will get repay back.No ITS NOT! Maybe u really treat her as your friend but how she will think?U dunno...Dun determine someone's character with your first aspire.How u noe thr's a lie behind it??Think yourself daughter..."
So,i was thinking on my bed this morning.*actually i went to school but i went back home again cause u felt like vomit n head spinning in sudden.I FELT LIKE THE CAR WAS REVERSING!!!* AM I??!! AM I???!! ITS THAT THE REASON THAT I WAS FOOLED BY DEAD FISH???!!! I found that im getting more n more stupid.WHY?WHY?WHY?<--im asking myself.If I'd listen to my mum,talk less everything will be better,I think so the ending won't just end up wif a question mark-->?<--
Actually,guys u might not know something...That "my prob" din end like this way...There r still many ? in my head,my heart.I wanna noe,of course i do! But..u noe wat?While i was getting nearer to the answer,when i knew it,i really dun feel like knowing it anymore.I HATE IT!Actually its de feeling i hate :P Once,when i was form 2,i was so curious about a stupid question.ITS JUST A STUPID QUESTION MADE A CHANGE IN MY WORLD. People will just think "Ying Ying,its juz a small tiny lil question.Dun care it so much.Nothing."
N that,i'll think "Shut up..U dun know anything u cant feel me so juz save your saliva n keep quiet"
I know its rediculous to say that but..this is how i think to those who told me this.Seriously until now,i regretted to those who waste so much saliva for me to tell me "Ying Ying,u will regret wat u did.Y r u so silly??"<--HAHA I KNOW SHE WILL KNOW THAT IS .....hehehe~This girl is one of my best friend who told me not to,but...i had a conflict with her after that..Altho she said that she had forgiven me,but yet,i haven forgive myself.
YES.We need friends in our life.But friends.....i've only got a word to describe->speechless.The one who in my bff list,of course i believe them 100%,but those...who r using a smile or waving HI to me..I juz gt a feeling that they are realli fake.Dunno y,seriously.And what i predict its true.They will talk something or critic u behind.Maybe these person is surrounding around u which u said is "friend" or someone that u like.But for me,"urghh...normal is the best.No communication is even better."Feel weird sometimes.From young i can predict that someone is good,or fake.But there's only one,ONLY ONE,that i cant feel it.Which is the fakest big liar.She is really really fake.If there are some of people or "guest" here wanna learn how to be more fake until others wont notice,please visit-->STK,Form 2 dead fish :) Its not that i wan to critic her here but seriously,im juz saying facts. :)
Saturday, April 3, 2010
WT...H??
ITS KOKO TODAY!!!
Eventually,i HATE today...i hate koko...A strange feeling that rush through me today.HATE THIS FEELING! But...no one knows...All of them thought tat "Ya..i know...that the prob btween three of u...i dun understand wats your feeling ..." yala..no one understand me...this kind of feeling...i hate the most...BETRAYED...CHEATED...mayb some of u guys r having this kinda feeling..but seriously i know,tat it hurts ALOT!!!
I'd juz wanna find someone who understand how i feel n comforts me...Seriously some of them reali comforts me thank you.But yet,i stil cnt get wan i want.I stil cant get wat i wanna noe.Mayb when i dun know,I will feel like wan to know.But when i know,i will feel like its better i dun know.I shouldn't know.Hurting myself again and again...But how pain my heart is,its not as pain as Jesus tat nailed on the cross for our sins.
4th April.
He should know what happened on this day.YEP.mayb i love this day if things not like today.But now,its juz like a date that i wan to fully delete from my life,its juz like a black spot had stickken on me,n it'll never gone.Altho i was reborn,i was purified,but in my mind,i did this things.In my mind,this truth will never change.And wat can i do is,i'll tell this truth to my future lover.I'LL TELL ＨIM WAT I DID. I felt ashame for myself.4th april 2009,i really wanna say forever goodbye to you,but i know,i need to face the realistic.ITS TRUE.
Eventually,i HATE today...i hate koko...A strange feeling that rush through me today.HATE THIS FEELING! But...no one knows...All of them thought tat "Ya..i know...that the prob btween three of u...i dun understand wats your feeling ..." yala..no one understand me...this kind of feeling...i hate the most...BETRAYED...CHEATED...mayb some of u guys r having this kinda feeling..but seriously i know,tat it hurts ALOT!!!
I'd juz wanna find someone who understand how i feel n comforts me...Seriously some of them reali comforts me thank you.But yet,i stil cnt get wan i want.I stil cant get wat i wanna noe.Mayb when i dun know,I will feel like wan to know.But when i know,i will feel like its better i dun know.I shouldn't know.Hurting myself again and again...But how pain my heart is,its not as pain as Jesus tat nailed on the cross for our sins.
4th April.
He should know what happened on this day.YEP.mayb i love this day if things not like today.But now,its juz like a date that i wan to fully delete from my life,its juz like a black spot had stickken on me,n it'll never gone.Altho i was reborn,i was purified,but in my mind,i did this things.In my mind,this truth will never change.And wat can i do is,i'll tell this truth to my future lover.I'LL TELL ＨIM WAT I DID. I felt ashame for myself.4th april 2009,i really wanna say forever goodbye to you,but i know,i need to face the realistic.ITS TRUE.
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