Lord i give you my heart, i live for You alone.

Once i heard about 'the memory palace', and i've tried to learn it but failed. Each time when i need to memorize or study i really needed it so much. Facing business law, my toughest subject, i feel like banging onto the wall, couldnt control my hands frm touching my phone. The name, the cases was too much, too heavy for me.


I always hoped to do the best, i wanted to be the best. Altho i keep saying passing this subject is all i need, but in my deep heart i actually want to score well. I could feel better if this subject was took on the first day of my finals.
I keep grumble that i really cnt do well, until yesterday when i was reading Joseph Prince devotional passage, the title was like..God is speaking to me. He said it was His battle but not mine, all i need to do is to stand and see his glory. I know that, this is our battle. What I need to do now is to try my best, do all i can, in the power of God, and the rest i can just surrender to Him and say that, God i've tried my best, and for the rest i surrender to You. Have faith in the Lord, and he will be more faithful to you.


Jiayou yingying. Im sure you can do it. Stop grumbling stop complaining and start acting. Sorry, it was memorizing T_T

The last paper of my first sem degree life.

I ll be going back soon, the day after tomorrow. God knows how much i want to go home.. feel like degree life is terrible and i really need to recharge myself. And the best thing i can think off is mum's dishes, daddy's breakfast and time spending wif wugui after a month♥ It was so precious, and it eventually became my strength to move on. All the way of having my finals, i keep praying to God to give me strengh and i want to fall on You, to surrender everything onto Your mighty hands. The greatest thing of having You in my life is no matter what happens, i know that im not alone.

Past few days, when i was still preparing for my microeconomics paper, i felt like it was still so far for me to go home.. but it seemed like getting nearer, but im afraid of my business law and therefore i wish i could still have some time longer, but i wanna go home.. this kinda mixed feelings makes me feel kinda.... blurry.

I miss him so much. Want to have big hugs and to feel the warmth of his big tummies. I miss you lots baobei... miss u a lot. I want to take many pictures of us together, to keep all the memories so that i feel calm again wif our relationship. To feel that... u actually love me, a lot.


Im a person who lose secure easily, no matter in love, family, or friendship. I always felt insecure.. afraid that you guys would just abandon me like this. I treasure a lot, cherish so much of this kinda relationship we owned, and i really need to understand that.... 好朋友只是朋友，还是朋友，不能够占有。
I dont want to be old shirt neither new shirt, to be abandoned because it was outdated, and to be love because of the feeling of new and freshness. And..... i just dont like the feeling of being a tool. Or should i said that, if i choose to help, i shouldnt grumble?


Last paper of first sem degree. And i know that i still have a long way to go.