Bitter sweets

Dang!
My first, very first critical thinking exam ends up like a dang. SPM results is coming out from the oven very soon. Well, somehow im quite happy with it. At least im excited, and a lil bit of scare when they hand me my results. Yeah, i've worked really hard. And i guess 21th March is a day where all my efforts gains a payback?

Im definitely enjoying my Uni life now. Somehow it teaches me what freedom feels like, and what it is like to be alone, away from home. Things i've never learn in this 18 years of my life. Yeah, i love it. I have no time to catch up with my story books and my vocabs seems like came to a very slow mode. Things i hate while staying here is.. I couldnt help myself not to worry about my family problems. Every family has a problem, and it really, really affect my emotions. And i hate that. Hate those time when i realise that my relationship with family only left phones, and facebook. Relationship with my sister aint going that well, and i felt like a stranger staying in hotel when im home. I couldnt speak more than a limitation, couldnt exceed their limits in me. I no longer feel like im a sister, most likely a guest who just come and stay for a few days and left? No more family love, i seem abandoned. Im envy to those who found love in family eventhough they left for educations. Yeah, i definitely miss that kind of caring. So loving. But time is not going to have a playback. And i'll continue to walk my journey alone. Who knows all the bitter sweet im going through here? All they want to know is, im great, not hungry, everything's fine, and having a good results. I wished to speak more, but nobody seems willing to listen. I felt like it's more likely a 'no money no talk' relationship.


Hope you'll read this post, my dearest. And this might be the only way i can send my feelings to you while realising there's no more chance for me to live in Kluang as long as 18 years.